Why is it so hard for me to sleep all the fucking time? Ugh.
I just want to say that my roommate is a bitch. Every time I talk to her now she's very rude, and I have no idea why. I would like to move out I think. But that's so much work!
There is a dog barking outside. It's annoying me.
Wow, great, my dog just farted big time.
I'm kind of hungry, and that is upsetting because it's too late to go downstairs and get a snack. But I would really like a taco.
I hate school. I'm pissed that my books that I ordered from half.com aren't here yet, because I have homework that is due this week, so I hope that they get here FAST.
I really just want something to go my way for once. A job would be nice right now. Or... winning the lottery. Or.. meeting my soulmate. All three would be fantastic actually.
Being awake this late isn't good for me. Do you ever think about where you were 3 years ago, compared to where you are now in your life and just say "WOW.. how the fuck??" When I'm up this late, that's what I start to think about. 3 years ago, January 2006. Where was I? Oh, that's right. I had just moved out of the apartment my boyfriend and I had been sharing, so that I could move into the dorms at school and make friends. I joined my sorority, and then got back together with my boyfriend, moved back in with him, and successfully alienated all of the friends I had just made. I worked all summer at the tanning salon and took classes online, my dad came to visit me for my 21st birthday, and my boyfriend and I spent new year's eve in Idaho with my mom. There was a blizzard, and we couldn't get out of the house to go anywhere. It's hard for me to believe how much different my life is now, but also now that I'm thinking about it, it's kind of the same. I don't have a job, or a boyfriend. But I'm still in school, my car is still a piece of shit, I still have my dog, I still play housewife to my 2 shitty ass roommates who don't clean or take out the trash or check the mail, etc.
There's a sense of .... security? when I think about how different my life could be even just a year from now. Even though I'm not happy with what is going on right now, I know that things could be drastically different for me this time next year. There's a little comfort in that because there's a possibility that whoever is up there in the sky watching out for me actually likes me this year, and maybe a year from now the "different' that I'm wishing for will not be bad, it will be good.
God, I hope so.
